I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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