Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
