Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
