I'm jealous of your bromance
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Randomize
