he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize