So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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