After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
