plz talk dirty to me
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
