He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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