sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
