So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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