I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
