I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
