Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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