Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize