haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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