I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
its not stalking. its research.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Randomize
