Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
