Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
