So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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