I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
