that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
