it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize