dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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