I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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