Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
home. puking in laundry basket.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
