Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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