Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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