sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
