On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
the raccoons are back...
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