you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
