One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
