i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
