wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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