Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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