I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
