FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
