I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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