id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
