Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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