yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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