there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
