then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
