I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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