Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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