cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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