is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
