I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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