3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
