David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
