this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
