It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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