We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
