you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
