Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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