i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
a search helicopter?!
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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