I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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