sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
